Earth's Mightiest Heros?
by MarauderMoony21
Summary: The Avengers Hetalia style.
1. Chapter 1

**So I got prompted to write a Hetalia-Avengers Crossover. **

**Cast of Characters:**

**Captain America-America(duh)**

**Iron Man-Prussia**

**The Incredible Hulk-Canada**

**Thor-Sweden**

**Hawkeye-England**

**Black Widow-Belarus**

**Phil Coulson-China**

**Nick Fury-Germany**

* * *

_And the Humans, what can they do but burn._

Arthur Kirkland was used to observing things; he had always been good at it. Always know when his brothers were in trouble or his absent mother was on a new drug. That's why SHIELD wanted him in the first place, that and he always hit his target. Except for when he let one go.

It was his observation skills that they wanted now. Something about watching this glowing cube until it did something. All Kirkland wanted was a good cup of tea, and maybe some scones. He was just about to come down from his hiding spot when something happened. He didn't know what it was, but it got the scientists going. They started evacuation five minutes later.

"Talk to me Doctor." Beilschimdt's boots stomped into the room.

"The Tesseract is misbehaving." Dr. von Bock responded tiredly. When he first began working he was full of energy, giddy even; a regular kid in a candy store.

"That's not funny; this is no time to joke, Doctor." Ludwig Beilschimdt wasn't known for his sense of humour; or patience for that matter.

"Where is Kirkland?"

"The hawk? In his nest." Arthur cringed at the name given to his hiding spot.

"Agent Kirkland, get down here. I sent you here to keep an eye on things."

"I see better from a distance." And that was true, whenever his mother and brothers started to fight, he climbed up his tree. Looking in through the window he always had a better insight.

"Well have you seen anything that could have caused the Tesseract to act like this?"

"No one came or went, the place is clean, no technology to interfere with it. Nothing on this end is doing it."

"What do you mean, 'on this end'?"

"Well the cube is a doorway to space, yeah? Doors open from both sides." Arthur couldn't help tacking on the No-Shit-Sherlock look at the end, and his luck must have run out because Beilschimdt was just about to say something when the cube spurted out more energy.

It pulsed for a moment before becoming a concentrated beam. The beam focused on the other end of the lab. A portal opened and a figure appeared a figure that seemed to be holding something.

The figure stood slowly, rolling his shoulders. The something in his hands turned out to be a battle axe.

"Sir, please put down the axe" Beilschimdt may have been a brilliant agent but sometimes he could be so stupid. Like when he asked this person to put down his axe, even though he seemed very attached to it.

The man just looked at Beilschimdt, his maniacal smile a silent taunt. He was wearing a black overcoat with the cuffs rolled up to the wrist revealing the inside fabric to be red. Black pants, boots, gloves, and a small hat perched on his spiky blond hair completed the outfit.

With only the grin melting from his face as a warning, he sprang at Beilschimdt. Kirkland pulled him down before they were killed. The man shot two agents with a beam that looked eerily like the Tesseract before turning and slicing a few more with the blade of his axe. Bullets seemed to have no effect on this guy; Kirkland would just have to take him down with hand-to-hand combat.

Never had Kirkland seen such destruction come from one man. Another blast sent him flying into the wall. Running footsteps behind him alerted him to his attacker. His swinging fist was caught in an inhuman grip, the man twisting his arm with incredible force. Arthur met the man's pale blue eyes.

"You have heart." The man said before touching the tip of his axe to Kirkland's chest.

"I am Matthias of Asgard." Was the last thing Arthur Kirkland heard before he was plucked out of his mind and something else was put in.


	2. The Big Guy

**I'm sorry that I am so late getting this up and that it's so short but my computer was being pissy. Don't worry it gets longer after this chapter, I think only one other chapter is this short, though. **

* * *

Being tied up was something Natalia was used to. Being tied up over a twenty foot drop? Now that was something that hadn't happened in a while.

She was just about done playing these idiots for fools. Honestly, these days it was all the same; some old guy and his goons who couldn't keep themselves from staring at her breasts. She seemed to be just where they wanted when she heard one of them whisper:

"Is _this_ the feared Black Widow?"

She was just about to show them why she was rightly feared when a phone rang.

"This is Tchaikovsky…da. It's for you." Whatever the person on the other end must have been very convincing because it seemed to upset the gang leader. "We need you to come in" Yao Wang's calm voice was the last thing Natalia expected to hear. "You cannot be serious; I am working" Natalia snapped. Just because she did favors for S.H.E.I.L.D. didn't mean that they can call her in during her work. "This is more important than whatever you are doing-aru." Wasn't it always? Last time they pulled this, she ended up working for Gilbert Beilschimdt. "I'm in the middle of an interrogation. These idiots are telling me everything." Natalia rolled her eyes as the cronies looked to their leader in confusion. "Look, I just can't come in now. Call someone else." The next words made Natalia's blood run cold. "Kirkland's been compromised" Agent Wang's sounded genuinely upset. "Give me one minute." Kicking the man who came to retrieve the phone, Natalia flipped and landed on him. Hitting her second opponent over the head with a chair leg that only left the ring leader whose other men ran long ago. One punch sent him on his ass. This was getting too easy. "Where is Kirkland now?" "We don't know-aru. He was taken twenty-four hours ago." "But he is alive?" "We think so. I'll brief you on everything when you get back. First we need you to talk to the Big Guy." Natalia snorted. They both knew Gilbert Beilschimdt was as stubborn as he was egotistical. "Wang you know that Gilbert trusts me as far as I can be thrown." Previous run ins had developed a strange relationship between the two. "Oh, no; I've got Gilbert. You've got the _Big_ Guy." There could be only one person Yao could be referring to. But they couldn't seriously be considering… "Boža moj!"

* * *

**Boža moj! - My God! in Belorussian **


	3. Stop Lying To Me!

Maybe moving to Haiti hadn't been such a good idea. Putting his medical abilities to good use and becoming a physician-for-hire sounded like a good idea in theory. Of course the reason Matthew was here sounded good in theory.

"Calm down Williams, this family doesn't need the Other Guy to make things worse." Matthew muttered to himself. The family didn't notice though. It only took the Other Guy taking over to have anyone notice him.

Poor, polite Matthew Williams, who, after hearing about the miracle of Alfred Jones, decided to attempt the serum used to turn the man into the world's first super hero. He should have known it was a fool's endeavour.

Using his knowledge of gamma radiation, he was the closest to finding the missing link. The end result wasn't the desired the super soldier; but a giant green rage fuelled monster. Now no one came utter his name without mentioning either the Other Guy or Alfred Jones.

Sighing, Mathew finished his diagnosis. The fever had come early this year and everyone, except him, was coming down with something. _I guess that's one of the benefits of living in a first world country_, Matthew thought bitterly.

He had lived in Canada for twenty years and loved every region for its own special quality:

The west coast for their nature oriented lifestyle as well as their herbal remedies which helped control the Other Guy… until he ran out. The Prairies for their appreciation of solitude, the Territories for their constant perseverance, the Atlantic for their hospitality, and central Canada whose thirst for advancement started this whole mess.

Matthew was pulled out of his reverie by a little girl begging him to help her family:

« S'il vous plait, mon papa était malade! »

Following the girl to the edge of town gave Matthew a few ideas that this wasn't just about a sick family. After being lead into a small shack and watching as the girl climbed out the window, confirmed his suspicions.

"You must be stupid, picking such a stressful environment when you should be avoiding it." The woman that stepped out of the shadows said in what he assumed was supposed to be a friendly tone. The woman's white blond hair and cold, assessing eyes told Matthew that she was not to be trusted. Even her voice sent a chill down his spine. People like her never wanted to just talk over pancakes.

"Avoiding stress isn't how I keep calm." He replied cordially, placing his bag down.

"What is it? Deep breathing? Writing poetry?" Of course she was here about the Other Guy. The question now was who had sent her?

"You brought me to the end of town. Smart" Matthew changed the subject, nervously wiping his palms together.

"I…uh…assume the building is surrounded, eh?" he asked looking around. Matthew half-expected someone to pop out of nowhere and start shooting.

"No, it is just me." She said. Why did everyone lie to him?

"And…that girl? Is she spy? I didn't think they started so young." Matthew asked, hoping to get some information from this woman.

"I did" finally some truth.

"And who are you?" Matthew asked. He was used to being asked that and took pleasure asking it for once.

"Natalia Arlovskaya"

"Are you here to kill me, Miss Arlovskaya?" If she was, than people were probably going to get hurt.

"No, I am here for SHEILD."

"Maple" of course they wanted to bring him into some lab and experiment on him. But… he'd been so careful. Leaving the country with fake paperwork and starting a new life in a remote place.

"How did they find me, eh?"

"Never lost you. We've kept and eye on you from a distance, and, have kept unwanted people away." Matthew should have known his solitude was too good to be true.

"Why?" he wasn't used to the nice side of these organizations.

"Ludwig Beilschimdt seems to trust you. Now we need you to come in." It was annoying how they thought that he would do whatever they wanted just because he polite.

"What if I don't, eh?"

"I will persuade you." The small smirk on her confident face made him tap into his ever-present patience.

"And what if the Other Guy says no, eh?"

"It has been one year since your last incident. I do not think you want to start again now." This woman had an answer for everything didn't she?

"Well I don't always get what I want"

"We are facing a potential global crisis." She said as she sat, digging around in a bag he hadn't noticed earlier.

Laughing humourlessly, Matthew replied "those I actively try o avoid."

"This is the Tesseract." Natalia said, sliding a cell phone across that table.

"It has the potential to destroy the planet." That caught his attention. Pulling his glasses out of his pocket, he took the phone and examined that blue cube.

"What does Beilschimdt want me to do, eh? Eat it with my pancakes?"

"He wants you to find it. It's been stolen and emits a gamma signature that is too weak for us to track. And you know gamma radiation better than anyone. If there was anyone else than I wouldn't be here."

"So Beilschimdt wants the monster."

"Not that he told me, no." Matthew wasn't sure if Natalia bought what she was saying anymore.

"So he tells you everything."

"Talk to Beilschimdt, he needs you on this." Not even trying to deny it anymore.

"No he needs me in a cage." Just like they did before.

"No one is going to put you-"

"Stop lying to me!" Matthew yelled, scaring Natalia so much that she drew her gun. He could hear many agents draw their weapons.

"I'm sorry, that was mean of me. I just wanted to see what you would…could…do, if the Other Guy took over." Matthew raised his hands in a calming apology.

"Why don't you put down the gun and the Other Guy doesn't hurt anyone. O.K… Natalia."

Lowering her gun, Natalia spoke into her mic: "Stand down."

"Just you and me huh?"

* * *

**I'm sorry this took so long, hopefully the next chapter won't take so long.  
**

**Translation: **S'il vous plait, mon papa était malade! Please, my dad is sick!


End file.
